I don’t even have anything to look forward to anymore.

Like always; I have been let down by my mother. I resent her so much to this point; it’s crazy. I don’t even call her “mommy” or like referring to her as my mom anymore. I will be attending the same lovely school and I will continue to live with my same lovely grandparents. (Quote the sarcasm). I want to scream my lungs out and die. I want to just jump in a hole and never return. 


On to specifics: Since I probably won’t be moving back to NY any time soon, I won’t be able to do anything still because I do not have a licence or a vehicle. That means no extracurricular activities, which means not getting into a good college.

And if you’re wondering if it is really this serious; it is. I literally have no way of getting around without a vehicle since I live in the middle of nowhere. I literally stay in my house almost every single day. And on top of that my internet barely works 50% of the time. My grandfather literally doesn’t take me anywhere unless it’s piano lessons which is once a week for only 30 minutes and occasionally to the supermarket. I can’t even walk anywhere. It’s not even like my grandparents are nice people. Most grandparents are, but not mine. They make me miserable. Seriously. Words can’t even express.

I resent my mother so much for making my life the way it is. It’s all her fault. She shouldn’t have had me. She doesn’t even take care of me.


Long Time No See.

I haven’t been updating for more than a month.

Since I’ve been in NY for a lot of the summer ❤ , I’ve had somewhat of a life…



I should be seriously moving back to nyc before the new school year starts!!! xD


I hope it will really happen this time… Or I will be devistated :[

I really don’t want to live with my grandparents anymore. I never really did and I don’t know if I can take much more. 

I’m nervous but happy and hopeful :}