I don’t even have anything to look forward to anymore.

Like always; I have been let down by my mother. I resent her so much to this point; it’s crazy. I don’t even call her “mommy” or like referring to her as my mom anymore. I will be attending the same lovely school and I will continue to live with my same lovely grandparents. (Quote the sarcasm). I want to scream my lungs out and die. I want to just jump in a hole and never return. 

 

On to specifics: Since I probably won’t be moving back to NY any time soon, I won’t be able to do anything still because I do not have a licence or a vehicle. That means no extracurricular activities, which means not getting into a good college.

And if you’re wondering if it is really this serious; it is. I literally have no way of getting around without a vehicle since I live in the middle of nowhere. I literally stay in my house almost every single day. And on top of that my internet barely works 50% of the time. My grandfather literally doesn’t take me anywhere unless it’s piano lessons which is once a week for only 30 minutes and occasionally to the supermarket. I can’t even walk anywhere. It’s not even like my grandparents are nice people. Most grandparents are, but not mine. They make me miserable. Seriously. Words can’t even express.

I resent my mother so much for making my life the way it is. It’s all her fault. She shouldn’t have had me. She doesn’t even take care of me.

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